MIXOLOGY AT THE MALLARD

Before ass meets Naugahyde

she’s on him, into his ire,

annoying him enough to leave,

to take his breed of trouble

to another drinking hole.

No way, I ain’t waiting,

four drinks later,

for the real drunk to show up.

Not when I’m working the bar myself.

I ain’t stupid.

You gotta know how to read people.

How to be a mix 

of both shrink and psychic.

She says all this

with a buffalo head bearing down

on the wall behind her.

You don’t wanna mix it up with

this bulldog barkeep.

You just don’t.