THE BONFIRE*

Any day now

the Neptune Society

will be calling 

to tell me 

that my mother’s 

ashes, that are in transit,

have arrived.

You should burn yourself completely. 

If you do not burn yourself completely, 

then a trace of yourself will be left 

in what you do.

Suzuki Roshi said this 

in a book I just happen 

to be reading right now. 

The timing of the quote

took my breath away.

There is no trace 

of my mother anymore.

Fire has had its way 

with her—which is what 

she wanted. She wanted 

her human form to be 

disrobed of its flesh 

and bone by flame 

when the time came.

I strive daily,

especially now,

to follow in my mother’s 

footsteps, by cremating 

my experience as I live it, 

by trying to cleanse myself 

of conflict and contraction,

so that I might become one

with the inner light of spaciousness 

and the love that resides there.

I want every day to be

a good bonfire,

where my energy burns 

clean and pure, while the self 

goes easefully

up in smoke.

*Inspired by Reverse Meditation: How to Use Your Pain and Most Difficult Emotions as the Doorway to Inner Freedom, by Andrew Holecek.