Inspired by Harper’s Magazines “Findings” section
The ornithologist said:
the oldest ovulating osprey,
was a regular oddity among the hyenas
dining on donkey before and after Lent.
And the girl studying animal husbandry said:Weaning goats never forget their goats.
And it was the linguist who said:
real or imagined, puzzle
even the smartest baboons.
And it was the waste management technician
who was taking late-night psych classes
via short-wave radio who said:
Human garbage becomes a scarcity
when the poor, as a matter of sport,
sue their proctologists every chance they get.
And then there was the Special Ed teacher
with ambitions of being a top chef who said:
What we need is an edible jungle gym for the autistic.
And the CEO of British Petroleum who said:
God bless the dinosaurs!
And the boy with the binoculars who cheered:
Look, the starlings!
They're drawing the Mona Lisa in the sky.
And the head of the Homicide Division,
between stutters and nicotine fits, who said:
Imaginary kidnappers write
their ransom notes with a smile.
And finally, the man impersonating
a Madison Avenue Ad Exec,
who was really a geologist, said,
while swilling his Manhattan:
What do I do?
I’m the guy, who, when
the great circus of civilization ends,
will be shoveling the shit
of every last pachyderm.